Pride and Prejudice.

Growing up I loved to read. Infact,I still love to read .And Jane Austen is one of my favourite authors. I’m sorry to disappoint you though,  this isn’t a wonderful love story about the dashing Mr Darcy or the stubborn ,  witty Elizabeth Bennet 🙂  This my friends is a story about a young woman who recently discovered something about herself.  Something that shocked the living daylights out of her. The said woman,  lets call her lady X recently met a clients wife. An impromptu meeting that didn’t last all of fifteen minutes, but was never the less enough time to help her re-evaluate the person that she thought she was ,bigtime.  Lady X’s client is Kenyan, black and proud.  You know those African men who disposed of their “slave” names and choose to go by their ” Alkebulan” names? Yes folks. He was one of those. So it was a bit of a shock for her to discover that Mr Alkebulan’s wife was Indian. Very Indian. Priyanka Chopra Indian. Not a hint of mixed race blood in her,just a very pretty Indian woman.

All right, I’ll stop being vague. Lady X is me. I recently met my clients wife. And the fact that she was Indian knocked the socks off my feet…ok,stockings maybe. And it was an awkward meeting ,  that much I will admit. Because It was unexpected and I didn’t know what to say to her. What made the encounter worse was the fact that she came in with their adorable, exotic looking babies, with all that beautiful curly wild hair that is  predominant in mixed raced children, big light eyes that could melt the hardest of hearts.The little buggers came into the room with their beautiful smiles and did I mention their manners were impecable? They said please and thank you and just behaved themselves all through. The Mrs was just as nice.They left after awhile. And I sat there and thought to myself,  she’s actually…nice.I wondered why the fact that she was Indian bothered me in the first place ,when she was actually pretty cool ! And as I replayed the events of my past,  it hit me that I had a nasty (internal )attitude towards her because I am severely prejudiced where Indians are concerned. Yes.I said it. I dont like Indians.

My experiences with them haven’t exactly left me doing the shaku shaku. I have worked for and with some and the way they treated me,scratch that…the way they treated ALL THE AFRICANS in the establishment was appalling. It was a modern-day plantation! And I’m sad to say,  I might have left the establishment, but I am still in touch with people who work there. And I’m afraid the treatment remains the same.I feel the need to say that this was my first encounter with Asians,  and it left a bad taste in my mouth.Worse still,  it left a lasting first impression.  And you know what that proverb says: First impressions are the most lasting. Unfortunately,  this experience became my go to where Indians are concerned.  I decided they were all a bunch of racist animals and I wanted nothing to do with them ever again.  Until I met Mrs Alkebulan.

And this got me thinking how first impressions can be so utterly WRONG,  because I have walked the whole of my adult life with a chip on my shoulder ,  despising all Indians because of an experience that I had, which in hindsight wasn’t fair at all. I took it upon myself to assemble a whole race together because of a few racist individuals! This revelation had me quite ashamed of myself.  I realised then that this is how hatred starts. Between races,communities etc. By relating issues that have nothing to do with each other! Now  y’all know how negativity spreads like wild fire.If you’d asked me before this meeting if I was prejudiced towards anyone,  I’d have denied,denied,DENIED. I was crest fallen by the realisation that as ‘opened minded’  as I thought I was, I have huge prejudices here and there that need to be checked.

Recently,  Liam Neeson found himself on the wrong side of social media when he admitted to fantasizing about murdering a black man as retribution for the rape of his friend. He explained that this was forty years ago and he was ashamed of himself every time he thought about how he walked around for a week with a bludgeon, waiting outside pubs for a black man,  ANY black man to come out and have a go at him, so he could just kill him. Coincidentally,the day the story broke,  is the same day I met my clients wife. And I actually emphasized with him,because I understood where he was coming from. And for him to admit his prejudice was really brave. Especially since he was out promoting his new movie. This admission alone could tank the movie, so it was amazing for me to see him battle his demons in the public sphere.

Which brings me to the question, how many of you are prejudiced without knowing you are? Do you give that single mother who comes into church with three kids, from different fathers the side eye and call her a whore? Or that alcoholic colleague at the office who always reeks of cheap vodka? Or that client from another country whose culture doesnt tow with yours? Have I hit a nerve? I hope so! Because it’s these little prejudices that birth huge prejudices which in turn grow up and have triplet grand prejudices, that become uglier and more sinister as the years go by. They start small,but the repercussions are permanent through centuries. God forbid.

Finally, now y’all know I have to finish by taking you to church LOL. I may loose my mind sometimes, but Jesus always checks me and sets me straight. So I had to go back and ask him what he thought about this, and by this, I mean I went back to my bible and these verses jumped up at me:

James  2:4-Have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

John 7:24- Stop judging by mere appearances,but instead judge correctly.

Romans 2:11-For God does not show favoritism.

These three verses were enough for me to know its time I changed my prejudicial ,detrimental ways. And don’t get me wrong, I won’t instantly fall in love with all Indians. This was something that was a part of my thought patterns for years. It wont just go away automatically. But I am willing to work on it. One day at a time. I’m even having lunch at Haandi today just to get myself ready 🙂 What I am sure of however is that, I will not pass down this prejudice to my generations. It will die with me. And that ladies and gentlemen, is enough for me.